I'm kinda lazy to blog about the details, but i'll share with you my greatest takeaway from God in that fabulous camp.

Visiting the columbarium the first time was no mean feat. Or at least for me, because i felt a little uneasy with fear built up within me. The notes pasted in the niches were the ones that struck me real hard. Many thoughts hit me, and that was when i finally perceived the harsh reality of life. I finally understood the meaning of life and death. The meaning of the death of a close one. I could feel the pinnings for their lost ones, the aches they experience, the sorrows they have, the pain they suffer. Certain images perpetually flashed my mind, which explains the countless broke downs. I just couldn't accept the fact that people around me were like suffering in silence and i can't seem to do anything about it.

i was totally overwhelmed.

And that was when God spoke to me. I had some sudden epiphany that i am blessed tremendously; my parents are with me, on earth. Some don't, but i know God has plans for them. Deep inside, i felt remorseful. There they are going through so much but here i am with strained relationships with my parents. Well, okay i'd guess maybe not strained, it's like more of me having not much patience with them and somehow talking to them sometimes do lead to heated arguments.

and i thought; what if suddenly, i lose them. what if suddenly something terrible happen to them. what if suddenly God decided to take them away. what if.

God made me reflect on my actions on how i've been treating them. Not too good, of course. and i am convinced that i have to change. there and then, i promised myself to cherish them. To love them more. To give them more understanding. To have more patience. To spend more time with them. To be a daughter that they want me to be. and of course, to care for them more.

care, the theme of the whole camp.

i don't want to regret it when i lose them one day. I know the time will definitely come, but right now, i just want to cherish them and not argue with them needlessly anymore.

because after all, they are always my awesome parents, the ones whom brought me to this earth.

sorry mummy, sorry papa. i will change my attitude.

I promise.