no, it doesn't break even.

;End of As.

Current mood: Still in self denial. (Yeahhh Edwin, I'm lagging)

Feels so surreal now that everything has ended. I mean like, hey it's done. Completed. Accomplished. 2 years of JC life officially ended. OVER.

Time really flies. I remember the very first time I set foot in VJ was... okay let me check my archives.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 02, 2009

Orientation day 1.

I guess I shldn't be going in details of what happened. If not this post is gonna be like ______. haha.

Just that I'm really convinced that VJ is really a onesecalsocannotstopcheering school. I bet they got like a whole lifetime supply of Brand's Chicken Essence kept in their admin office or smth, &the students there kope like 125223423 bottles everyday before starting school. Which, I reckon, explains their endless supply of energy for cheers.

Anyway, today as pop was driving into my lovelyyy school,

E: "Pa, how come here got hawker centre one?"

P: "That's your canteen la."

Ownzxz right. See, I'm so not used to JC life.

Let's drown ourseleves with our tears, or finish up the MamaLemon detergent in our kitchens, or just hold our breaths for >3 mins.

Okay, I'm kidding. I will survive.

Yeah, I didn't enjoy orientation. I so looked forward to going home that whole week. I ponned the sea carnival which was supposedly the best part of the whole orientation. I skipped the mass dance at suntec. I refused to sing the school song. I didn't like the school cheers. I thought the school was huge because I got lost many times within the compound.

Nevertheless, I spent about 23 months there. And during those times, VJ changed me. Friends I made there taught me a lot of things. 09S37 is an awesome class, and I really mean it. Till this date, I still have no idea why all our tutors are males but who cares anyway, they're great. Lum FTW. Hahahaha.

The first official day of school after all the orientation was terrifying. Walking into a class (oh, with aircon! Srsly I was amazed at that point in time) with a whole back row of blueuniformgirls intimidated me. AND more people came in groups and pairs and whatnot. I was alone. I was so depressed. I was extremely lonely. My first friend was Mr Lum. Hahahahahaha. Okay anyway, I managed to talk to Joy because we were both the only ones from each of our sch. Quite sad right. But PL is a very very very minor stakeholder in VJ, so whatmore can I expect. Junior meet senior session was horrible. Don't ask me why kthxbyebye. But our senior class is da best!! I LOVE MY ANGEL(: Our r/s were much better as compared to with our junior class this year. Oh wellz.

Of course, my life in VJ will never be completed without the Loo-sers!!! They played a major role of making me feel at home in VJ, helping me in my studies (with one like super pro in bio, another in chem, another in math, another in gp, another in econs) BCME + GP all covered can. I'll never forget all the retarded things we did, outings we went, how we almost successfully sneaked up to the sky gardens at Marina Bay Sands w/o paying, camwhoring in random toilets, pigging out, wanting to book a trip to Genting up but till now it's still undone. Lol. A really big thank you to Beatrice, Renee, Meiwei, Suetfar and Wanqing! ♥ You guys rock.

Okay anyway, I gotta edit what I said previously because I'm no longer in the denial mood over As but currently stepping into the world of my new found freedom already. Reason being I took a few days to type this post. Opps. Hehe.

Surviving A levels was indeed a challenge. It was mentally, physically and spiritually demanding. Really, every MSN convos, facebook wall posts, text messages, verbal and traditional notes for encouragement served as an impetus for me to press on. Thanks everyone, for accompanying and seeing me through this seemingly major phase of my life.

And of course, God was the One who has been faithful. I know that w/o Him by my side, I'll just crumble up and die or something. Or maybe I'd just give up because the whole process of mugging and all was tremendously tedious. Just ask any A level student to vouch for it. Seriously, S'pore education system needs a revamp. 3 years of JC life, perhaps? It should be less stressful even though it's longer. Hah. Okay forget it, it's over(:

I really want to give thanks to God because of all the wondrous things He have done. It's impossible to state them all here, but throughout this period, I could really see Him working in my life. I didn't have any insomnia at all during A levels like I did during prelims/common tests. It was really amazing because God taught me what it means to really trust in Him and not worry about anything. What it means that my future is secured in His hands. What it means that the results I get for A levels doesn't determine my future because God does. Though some papers were tough, some were weird, He saw me through every single one of them. He was there to answer my fervent incessant prayers during the last few minutes before the paper started and whenever I got stumped by the questions. He is my supplier of peace and guidance. Indeed, God is good, all the time.

I admit that sometimes I don't trust God as much as I want to. It is when I rely solely on my own strength rather than His. I'm an imperfect human, I tend to let emotions rule my head at times. Not only in areas like studies, but in relationships, conflicts and as such. I am a worry freak, I panic easily. I struggle to let God take 100% control of my life even though I pray to do so. I know when something is wrong but I still do it. But God is merciful because He is forgiving. A thousand times I may have failed, but His mercy remains. And I know "His power is made perfect in my weakness; Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I fall, I learn, I grow. God's patience with me makes everything perfect.

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom power and love
Our God is an awesome God

God made me whole. Accepting Him into my life is something that I'd never ever regret.